This has been an incredibly trying year. It started off with a fire which took most of my possessions, and the life of my wonderful kitten Mendelssohn. I’ve dealt with heavy bouts of sadness and negativity with the music industry, relationships, my own life, and more. One of the first truths of Buddhist thought is that life is suffering – or more that impermanance leads to suffering. Essentially life is always in flux – for better or worse, but always changing, always evolving. The suffering comes when you try and hold on to everything, and not want it to change – and remain perfect forever. Well that is just not realistic at all to expect.
Things may have been very hard for me, but I also appreciate the fact that I get to live a life where I make music for a living, and bring enjoyment to others in the art that I do. Music is impermanence essentially, when you really think about it. The immediate act of creating sound and capturing that exact moment – that exact emotion – that exact color – it lives in dies right then and there. It is surrounded by silence. You just learn to appreciate the music you are hearing right then and there – because it is always changing.
This evening – I am leading a small string orchestra on national television with the American Music Awards, and performing with Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and debuting a brand new song from their upcoming record. I provided orchestral arrangements for the song with M&RL, and am proud that I get to perform it live tonight. It doesn’t escape me how extreme this change in circumstances is for me…. from depression to performing on a highly televised event in front of millions…. it all seems rather weird and funny at the same time. All one can do is appreciate and enjoy the successes, but remember not to get caught up with them, or the lows either. I’m still working on it all… this sense of balance and peace… but at least these are great first steps to a better year to come. Here’s coming for you 2016.